Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wyclef Jean for President? Turn Up My Symphony Man!

(CNN) -- Six years ago, hip hop icon Wyclef Jean released a soulful tune called "President," in which he fantasized about what it would be like to lead a country.

That fantasy may come closer to reality when the Haitian-American recording artist announces exclusively on CNN's "Larry King Live" that he intends to run for president of Haiti.
Big news today folks. Basically, if you happen to be watching the Skeletor program tonight, you might be catching some pretty exciting news: Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti. I say go for it. The president's shanty/mansion will turn into Suzy's Rendezvous, with strippers falling through the cracks in the floor. It's gonna be great.

Why's he gonna do this? Isn't it obvious? After the Earthquake he started throwing money at it. Ten grand? The earth was still shaking like it ain't got no bones. Twenty grand? Still seeing a lot of skin. Thirty grand? Highest bidder... but still Chris Rock said no sex on scorched earth. Forty grand? That's when 'Clef saw tears rolling down Haiti. The kinda tears that money couldn't buy. That's when he knew that he needed to step up and be their leader.

So good luck Wyclef! You know we're rooting for you. Maybe you can have the Artist-Formerly-Known-as-Port-au-Prince be your campaign manager.


(Yes, that post felt dirty and wrong... please don't sue 'Clef, I love you man).

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