Friday, August 13, 2010

Times Square to Hold Tongue Orgy Commemorating End of WWII

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Americans will gather for a group "kiss-in" in Times Square and buglers across the country will play the military funeral tune "Taps" on Saturday in the first national day of remembrance for the World War Two generation.

This year's event comes on the 65th anniversary of what Americans call V-J Day, marking the victory over Japan that ended the war in 1945.

That's right folks, y'all remember World War II. When the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor and we proceeded to kick their Japanese asses all across the globe? It was an ass kicking of epic proportions. We defeated literally every great military force in the entire world in a matter of 4 years. No one was more badass than the soldiers that fought in that. After impregnating their slampieces and tongue raping them before they got on the boat, our Grandpa's went off to fight dickholes around the planet who killed people by the millions. Fucking millions! Then, they came back home and banged the crap out of their wives again to the tune of eight kids apiece. Not a sterile one in the bunch!

To commemorate their infinite and everlasting Brodom, there will be a massive tongue orgy in Times Square, where thousands of people will gather to kiss each other just like they did back in the old days. Bully!!! This is gonna be more fun than throwing hot dogs at Rosie O'Donnell! Except, we won't have many of the soldiers that did the original tongue raping. They have either passed on or are sitting on their porches asking the paper boy to fish a tip out of his pocket. Sure there is a hole cut into the pocket and no tip, but who cares? Don't fucking judge him though... he shed blood for our country so he can do what he damn well wants!

Anyway, if you can't make it to Times Square for this glorious event, be sure to celebrate elsewhere. Maybe you'rr with your slampiece or you're at the bar and you pull out a great new pickup line... "I'm gonna kiss you like its V-J Day." Little do they know that means that they will be popping out eight kids in no time. 'Cause nothing says Brodom like potent swimmers and neglecting fathers.

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