Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Scrooge McDuck... Foiled Again

I was casually checking out my collection of first edition Scrooge McDuck comics tonight slash reading 'WWTDD' and came across something troublingly familiar. If you are like me, you have heard of this movie called Inception. Turns out, this movie is a big deal. Such a big deal that every Facebook/Twitter/GChat friend I could possibly have, plus a couple casual passersby have all had a collective orgasm about this movie. I've been cleaning the Inception juices off my laptop for two weeks. I may just be dreaming this, though.

Anyway, having just seen the trailers, I assume that Leo is mostly walking around in a half-opened Hawaiian shirt like a freakin' Mexican banging the crap out of Claire Danes while Juno delivers clever quips about how hilariously pregnant she is. What I didn't know I found out from Wikipedia.... Inception is based purely on a the classic Scrooge McDuck comic "the Dream of a Lifetime." Basically you can control people and other shit through their dreams. First off, only steers and queers wanna go into other dude's dreams. What if the criminal is one of those homosexuals you hear about on the TV? Ew, I will stay clear of their dreams. No dudes settling down. Period.

I digress, again, Scrooge McDuck was a visionary. He's basically come up with everything important in the past century: SALT-1 and 2, the Good Friday Peace Accords, Gigli, Lindsay Lohan, and now Inception, have all been conceived by Scrooge McDuck. Don't believe me? Read this and TELL me that this comic is NOT Inception to a T.

Now this is a great injustice. A worse injustice than Johnson taking credit for the JFK Assassination when we all know that was propagated by Leon Czolsgolz. (Are you guys getting this references? because I'm killing it here). Frankly, this will not stand, ya know? This aggression will not stand. Freaking Christopher Nolan. I have half of mind to send him a strongly worded letter. I want all the unapologetic partiers to do the same. Fuck Christopher Nolan. Fuck Inception. Fuck Juno. And God Bless Scrooge McMother Fucking Duck.


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