So this morning, I'm doing my usual youtube search for "Butt Pirates Go to the Beach" and I stumble across this gem. I watched it about 10 times and I couldn't figure out whether it was cool or not. There is just something about a crowd of dudes with their shirts off smashing beer cans on their heads that I don't like. Perhaps its that its a total waste of some fine brewskis. Coors Light? At least use a bottle for Christ's sake. That way, when your head is busted open and bleeding all over your best bud, it can distract the attention from your raging mega-huge boner that is obviously sprouting by the 30 second mark. Make no mistake about it, these dudes love each other in the classic sense. And by that I of course mean, after their rugby games, they gather around in a low lit room and gently touch each other's nether regions while calling each other queers. That's love.
Now you might be thinking, "sixsix, what gives? Bros love the beach, love brews, and love relentlessly shoving into everyone's face through random acts of loud "bro-dom." Well here are differences. This video had about one chick in it... not a bro's kinda party. If it was, there be just a crowd of them clawing behind a velvet rope just trying to get a taste of that sweet bro nectar. Secondly, smashing beers against your head? Really bros? Waste of brew... plus, when sprayed all over a bro's body, it washes off all the Kiehl's used to make our incredible physiques glisten in the midday sun. Lastly, that chant? That wasn't original! Original is putting your own words to the classics like "Sweet Caroline" and "Rock You like a Hurricane." Cause you know nothing gets a bitch moister than a bro who can perfectly sing their frat letters into the middle of any Neil Diamond classic at the top of their lungs.
So is this cool? No. It's not even kazoo/ukelele Final Countdown cool: