Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Bank of America Is Not Sorry

Bank of America - Standard Setting - For transactions such as checks, Online Bill payments, or recurring debit card payments, we may pay the transaction - even if it causes your checking account to be overdrawn and results in a $35 Overdraft Item fee. Many customers prefer we pay such overdrafts; this may be more convenient than not having certain payments made on time. Often, these payments are for important bills including: mortgage, rent or insurance premiums.

Decline All Setting
Most customers will find the Standard Setting to be the right fit for their account. But if you prefer, you can switch to the Decline-All Setting. This setting will decline any transaction that would overdraw your account. We will only authorize transactions when there is enough money available in your checking account or linked Overdraft Protection account at the time of the transaction. Keep in mind, you will be charged a $35 NSF: Returned Item fee for each transaction that is not paid, including checks and certain other electronic transactions. Plus, some merchants also charge additional fees for returned checks.

PS... Yes, we're fucking serious.

So Bank of America posts this to their site the other day as basically a big ol' middle finger to all the queens that bitch about overdraft fees. You can either choose to pay a $35 overdraft fee or pay $35 to have your card declined. Let me straighten out a few things here. First, as a loyal Bank of America customer for years, I couldn't be happier that I have entrusted my hard earned dollars to a bunch of bro's. Make no mistake about it, this bank is run by some seriously unapologetic bros. Only someone with some monster sized bro-balls would make a completely redundant rule like this and it is fantastic. Nothing gets a bro off like making fun of the poor and this is just classic comedy.

On top of that, its great rule in the first place. Nothing grinds my gears more than poor people trying to charge shit to their cards. Sorry champ, you're poor deal with it. You are so poor, than we're going to make you poorer anytime you try to spend money you don't have. Classic bro move. Next time you're out with your boys, chillaxin' on some brewdogs... don't offer to pick up the tab. Everyone knows you don't have money. Instead, why don't you take that $35 you would have had to spend on the bank fees and put it towards your child support or your alimony. Face it America, being poor means your sorry. So thank you Bank of America and your Board of Bro's, pop open a tall cold Bud Heavy for me and enjoy... you deserved it.


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