Monday, June 21, 2010

May Tweets

Here are all the unapologetic Tweets from May. Enjoy!

Troops reenact Lady Gaga video in Afghanistan, should be sorry: #MissionAccomplished #SFP @BroBible @TheOnionIncestuous Granny banging in Indiana: That's just nasty. #PhilBailey is a sick bastard, and is def #notsorry. @BroBibleThe Better Marriage Blanket blocks even the most rancid farts: Buy yours today! @BroBible @BarstoolBoston #SFP
Juvenile? Yes. Still hilarious? Yes. Enjoy that one. #SFP @jaeDC @sbenkov @BroBibleI got iced last night: Have you been iced yet? @BroBible #SFPWhy NH is better than VT (1000% factual): #SFP #GraniteStateJust saw a 55-60 year-old woman with red stripes dyed into her hair... this bad #economy is really fucking with some people. @Deadspin #SFPThe Luckiest People On Earth (and some of the dumbest): #wowsers #SFP #naturalselection @BroBibleQuite possibly the worst rapper of all time: This is what the Anti-Bro looks like #dothemath #SFP @BroBible @sbenkovSomething about this blog makes me smile: #Georgetown #SFP @BroBible @brentdibble
10:03 AM May 20th
Suck it... now enjoy this delicious cake: Truly a cake for every occasion. #unapologeticcake #SFP @jaeDCOhio Lt. Gov. touching himself=lost jobs for the state... or so says the NRSC: #masturbation #SFP @jaeDC @BroBible
12:29 PM May 20th
WTF Japan, why are you so Japanese all the time? #WTFJapan #SFP #foreigners @dolski28 @brettshank
2:26 PM May 20th
Good article on "haute stoner cuisine" from the @nytimes #dope #weed #marijuana #SFP @aram1nta @sbenkovI got #ICED at least a dozen times this weekend. What did you do? Be a part of the phenomenon: #SFP @brosicingbros
10:54 AM May 24th
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Niagra Falls were made out of whiskey?" #JimBeamRevelations #SFP @jaeDC @BroBible
4:11 PM May 24th
"Why Bros Get Iced, Bro" i.e. The origins of Bros ICING Bros: Thanks to @theawl @brosicingbros #fratboyslim #SFPI think they meant BEST drinking trend: Stop hating @DCist_Updates or we'll #ICE you. @BroBible @brosicingbros #SFP
1:46 PM May 25th
I like to catch a buzz as much as the next person, but even I think that this is for short-bussers and window-lickers: The Phillie puker is guilty Lawyer: "It's probable he consumed too much alcohol..." Ya Think? @BroBible #SFP
3:09 PM May 25th
The PooTrap is available in 8 sizes and 3 colors. Hooray! Next logical step is one for humans and #Icantwait #SFPOh no! @JaredAllen69 cuts his mullet: It's a sad day for mulleteers @BroBible #SFP
10:44 AM May 26th
@JaredAllen69 The mullet was trimmed for the wedding but the Moolay is more than just some hair, its a lifestyle! You gotta keep a positive Mullitude....
5:16 PM May 25th
From @JaredAllen69 "If I approach you from the front, it's like, wow, that dude is pretty serious...
10:46 AM May 26th
...Then I walk away and you're like, damn, he likes to party. With two Rs." @JaredAllen69 is such a #BRO @BroBible @brosicingbros #SFP
10:47 AM May 26th
BarstoolBoston Does This Look Like The Face of A Kid Who Smokes 40 Cigarettes A Day? claims that it's not behind #brosicingbros despite how awesome it is: Thanks @Awl #SFP @brosicingbros
1:50 PM May 26th
The phenomenon has reached Fortune magazine: #brosicingbros @brosicingbros @BroBible @WafflesMcButter @Deadspin #SFP
2:44 PM May 26th
And a great take on #brosicingbros from local blogger Ned's Younger Brother:
2:46 PM May 26th
mcuban I just iced someone ...
6:14 PM May 25th
Russia in pictures- at least the Soviets got one thing right: a pump on a vodka bottle #SFPThe most American pants on the market today, with a great sales pitch too: @stephenjreardon @BroBible @Dolski28 #SFP
2:19 PM May 27th
Pussy gets wet... then dizzy... then hypothermia (SFW): #yougottaloveitwhen this happens #SFPTeen werewolves in San Antonio! Keep small animals and children indoors: Absolutely ridiculous @jaeDC #SFP
4:51 PM May 27th
Tim James for Alabama governor: American English for all and extra scrutiny for foreigny-lookin' people @BroBible #SFP
10:48 AM May 28th
PiPhi's at Miami of Ohio Had The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever #deadspin #SFPOnly in Jersey: kid is sorry for pooping... in a soda #SFP @stephenjreardon @Deadspin @jaeDC

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

I received this through one of those email chains and I thought you'd all enjoy it. Here are some easy solutions to a number of common problems.

1.) Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2.) Avoid arguments with the females, about lifting the toilet seat, by using the sink.

3.) For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4.) A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you press the snooze button.

5.) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6.) You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. It if moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

7.) If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily thought:

Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.