For some time many of us have wondered: who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit!" Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an an accurate and intelligent way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit, who married Oh Shit. In turn, Jack Shit married Noe Shit. The couple had 6 children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit.
Deep shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Lotta Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit and Giva Shit married the Happens brothers in a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the Shit-Happens wedding. Bull Shit traveled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit.
So from now on, no one can tell you that you don't know Jack Shit.