Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Winter Olympic Drinking Games-Curling

In preparation for the opening of the Olympic Winter Games in just 9 short days, we are bringing you an exclusive series of event-specific drinking games to enhance your viewing experience. As mentioned in Monday's post, we will publish one drinking game per day from now until the Games begin. Today's event: curling. Now this is a truly great and practical sport (unlike Dutch-inspired speed skating). As described on the official Vancouver site, "The game of curling is more than 500 years old. The earliest written record of curling- of groups of people sliding stones on frozen ponds and lochs (an arm of the sea that is similar to a fjord) in competition- are found at Scotland’s Paisley Abbey and date back to 1541."

It is little surprise that the Scots- a great and proud people- created a sport like curling. Like the stones and the ice that comprise the sport, the Scots are strong and steadfast, stoic and wise. Some people like to knock the Scots these days. Yes, they are officially submissive to the United Kingdom (following nearly 400 years of independent rule). Yes, they may not have retained much of their past glory. Yes, they may wear skirts from time to time. But, what few people realize is that the Scots were highly influential in shaping the modern world as we know it. In addition to curling, they invented golf, scotch, bagpipes, the steam engine, and went into battle with one of the biggest cannons ever cast. On top of all this, they were some of the first people to rebel against the British Crown (made famous by Mel Gibson in the movie Braveheart), thereby further promulgating the idea of self determination, which many of the world's peoples later appropriated for their own uses. All in all, the the Scots are pretty badass and so is curling.

Remember to always begin and end every drinking game with chants of "USA! USA! USA!" People will hear you, they will understand, and they will join you. And, of course, the game described in Monday's post applies throughout the entirety of the Olympics.

The Curling Drinking Game:

1.) Take a drink at the beginning of every "end" (these are like innings in baseball and there's 10 of them)

2.) Take a drink every time the rock is delivered past the hog line (when it's pitched); take another when the rock is delivered out of the hack (such poor form!)

3.) Take a drink every time the rock misses the house (the bulls-eye)

4.) Take a shot of your choice for every hog line violation

5.) Take a drink for every in-off (a shot where the delivered stone hits another stone near the outer edge of the sheet at an angle, making the shooter roll into the house; one of the most difficult curling shots, usually done as a last resort when there are no other options)

6.) Take a drink for every Wicky Wacky Woo (yes, it's a real term and it occurs when a delivered stone, either planned or unplanned, bounces off two or more stones causing it to come to rest in a very advantageous position)

7.) Take a drink for every high-five that chubby broom-toting curlers give to each other after an especially good delivery of the rock

Be sure to brush up on your curling knowledge before this event starts. The complete schedule can be found here:

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