Thursday, January 7, 2010

Opinion: Mustard on Tuna Salad, Brilliant Addition or Misplaced Mistake?

As promised... my mustard-on-tuna salad review:

Application: I only used a minute amount... two thin yellow lines. Like an off color version of Whitney Houston's coffee table.

Appearance: The unmistakable hues of mustard dominate an otherwise snow white roll of tuna, mayo and cheese. The diversity is not an unwelcome addition to the purity of my roll (I'm an enlightened cat, after all), but nevertheless I am left with a slight feeling of discomfort.

Smell: Like Mustard, Tuna Fish, and Mayo

Taste: The usual cornucopia expected in my sandwich is hindered by the unmistakable spice of mustard. Explosions in the sky? Yes... but not welcomed explosions. I can't help but think, I should be tasting more tuna right now. Sadly, however, I am not. The joyous fishy taste of tuna has been robbed, like a gringo by a Mexican prostitute. My vivid memory of tuna salad has been bitch slapped by an impostor... a gay impostor.

Finish: Like the Village People, goes down rougher than a tuna salad should.

Verdict: It wasn't thatttt bad... but I think I'm going to save mustard for hot dogs and spaghetti with meatballs.

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