Tuesday, November 10, 2009

October Tweets 2

And the second half:

"Occasionally he takes an alcoholic day." -Oscar Wilde


"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." -Winston Churchill
12:32 PM Oct 17th

"That a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." -G.B. Shaw
10:23 AM Oct 19th

"Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life."

Bus driver soaks kids at bus stop and is NOT sorry: http://bit.ly/16gbUN
9:50 AM Oct 20th

You think he was sorry? Not a chance: http://bit.ly/mGYqs 1:24, 2:59, 3:26, and 3:42 are priceless.
6:24 PM Oct 20th

"There can't be good living where there is not good drinking." -Benjamin Franklin
9:53 AM Oct 21st

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." -Dean Martin

"A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her." -WC Fields
9:51 AM Oct 23rd

RT @phila_lawyer @alexjmann "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed & Not Spill Your Drink" http://bit.ly/2Z6H4k
3:05 PM Oct 23rd

"There's too much blood in my alcohol system."
12:10 PM Oct 26th

"Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days." -Ancient Egyptian Proverb

#HappyHourisforAmateurs is more than just a great title; a truly unapologetic and entertaining tome. Congrats are due to @phila_lawyer

Bro refuses to quit partying http://bit.ly/xOf41 (and obviously is not sorry). This and other good stuff @TheOnion
1:21 PM Oct 27th

"He was a wise man who invented beer." -Plato #TRUTH
9:40 AM Oct 28th

Can your pets partake in the SFP lifestyle? Of course: http://bit.ly/yOewv #SFP
3:05 PM Oct 28th

"A drink a day keeps the shrink away." -Edward Abbey @phila_lawyer @jaeDC @McFaddensDC @dchappyhours @frattinghard #TRUTH #SFP
10:21 AM Oct 29th


"Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink." #SFP

11:45 AM Oct 30th

October Tweets 1

Here are all the NotSFP Tweets from the first half of October. Enjoy!

If the act of using Twitter in the present is "Tweet" then shouldn't the grammatically correct past tense be "Twatted?" Just sayin'
10:38 AM Oct 1st

After 30 years, the Wisconsin Tourism Federation changes its acronym from "WTF" to "TFW." What the fuck is with that?
9:55 AM Oct 2nd

"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it." #SFP #sophisticationasamindset
10:31 AM Oct 8th

RT @phila_lawyer Legalized Marijuana(n.)-Superficial recognition of what's been de facto accepted in sensible society for over three decades
11:12 AM Oct 9th

Today's thought: "I drink to make other people interesting." -George Jean Nathan
11:15 AM Oct 9th

Alligator to golfer: "Sorry for partying" http://bit.ly/RBTtq
2:28 PM Oct 9th

"Work is the curse of the drinking class." -Oscar Wilde
10:43 AM Oct 12th

A lot of publicity is going to @TuckerMax these days, but for something a little more nuanced check out @phila_lawyer. He's not sorry.
10:47 AM Oct 12th

These are the kind of Shirley Temple-drinking douche bags that I beat all the time in drinking games: http://www.brobible.com/Sto...
10:36 AM Oct 13th

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." -Frank Sinatra
11:50 AM Oct 13th

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" -WC Fields
10:42 AM Oct 14th

"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober." -William Butler Yeats
9:52 AM Oct 15th

"Hindsight is 20/20. Foresight is beer goggles."
10:36 AM Oct 15th