Tuesday, October 13, 2009

September Tweets 2

The second half of September:

11:30 pm - Her (in the course of conversation): "I'm 39." Him (hammered): "I'm 22 and I could be your little boy." Her: "I'm not a cougar."
11:43 AM Sep 16th

9:30 am - Red Cross pep squad: "Would you like to give blood today?" Me: "You don't want my blood; it still has a measurable BAC." Jaws drop
11:46 AM Sep 16th

Sorry for breaking and entering: http://bit.ly/pdZnb
5:49 PM Sep 17th

Friday's thought- Bluto: "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." Otter: "Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med."
10:04 AM Sep 18th

Monday's thought: "You mind if we dance wif your dates?" (Those who know Animal House will appreciate this one).
11:10 AM Sep 21st

How do you say "Sorry for Partying" in German? Traurig für partying. http://www.oktoberfest.de/en/
11:27 AM Sep 22nd

Wednesday's thought - Hoover: "They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!" SFP!
10:37 AM Sep 23rd

RT @TuckerMax So yesterday @drdrew told me it's not a good idea to put my balls in front of an x-ray machine. Who knew?.........SFP!
3:33 PM Sep 23rd

The perfect addition to any large-scale party: http://bit.ly/VKOvZ
2:08 PM Sep 24th

What else can you say except "Sorry for Partying?" http://bit.ly/pHiNB
4:19 PM Sep 24th

"Some people think 3:30 on a Thursday is too early to start drinking. I'm not one of those people." -My friend, a proud AA drop-out
4:58 PM Sep 24th

Fist bump the Dalai Lama? Why not, it's awesome and practical: http://www.cnn.com/2009/POL...
5:08 PM Sep 24th

Friday's thought: "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart
11:06 AM Sep 25th

Speaking of which, we're all a few drinks behind this guy: http://bit.ly/16tGWB Andre The Giant played in a whole different league. RIP
12:18 PM Sep 25th

Day 4 of my bender: "Might as well take "Organ Donor" off my license because nobody's going to want them if this keeps up much longer." SFP!
2:04 PM Sep 25th

Arbitrary ridiculousness: it only takes 5 drinks to constitute a "binge." That's basically breakfast on a Saturday.
2:06 PM Sep 29th

"She's a good-hearted woman in love with a good-timing man." Sound familiar? Waylon was never sorry: http://bit.ly/hy1h
2:22 PM Sep 29th

"Those who can't do, teach." The unspoken rejoinder to that saying is: "Those who can't teach, drink."
10:03 AM Sep 30th

How can you demonstrate your own lack of sorry-ness? Eat your husband's goldfish: http://bit.ly/WbBMq
5:05 PM Sep 30th

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